I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
