Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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