Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it's not cheating when I paid for it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
