Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
