Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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