How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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