a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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