I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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