I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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