Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
There are leaves in my underwear?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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