It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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