Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
