So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
