good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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