Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize