he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
