On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
