and she was petting her beer can
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
