Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can't turn off my feet"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
