I'm so fucking centered right now
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
