You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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