so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
