maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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