I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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