$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
