Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
