Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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