There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
