Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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