sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
