dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize