so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
