i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
