How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
