Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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