just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
This is classic penis vs brain.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
