Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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