My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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