Say something about gay babies.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
