1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
being pregnant is like rehab
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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