i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
3 2 1 whiskey
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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