wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
