I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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