Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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