i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize