No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
