I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
