Buhtt sex?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
