He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
