Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
