What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
