i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
