giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize