I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
it's like iHOP with fire
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
