god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm bleeding and have questions
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
