dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
