In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
