Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
