Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Whod you bang
I smell stomach acid.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
